The Zipper

the-zipper
I was dating Ricky — who played handball at the same gym where I worked out. At some point Ben, one of Ricky’s handball buddies said to me, “Ricky is dating other women.” I didn’t believe him.
I asked Ricky — he said, “NO — Ben is jealous and wants us to break up so you’ll go out with him.”

Number ONE – Ben was married and having an affair with another woman — I certainly wasn’t planning on group sex.  And number TWO — I didn’t think he was correct — I didn’t think Ben had an interest in me. I let it go….
One of Ricky’s old girlfriends came into town — and when he said they were going to dinner I said it was OK with me. After all — she lived in another town — she’s an old friend — when I met her I didn’t feel threatened. They went to dinner and came back a couple of hours later with bags of food. They said they got to talking and didn’t eat the food and they had them wrap it to go. I didn’t give it a second thought. Big deal — take out… happens all the time.
Turns out they had sex – then brought the food back to make it look like they had been eating in a restaurant. I would have bought it if they said “Dinner was great — we cleaned our plates.” Eventually we broke up but it was Ricky’s call. I was heartbroken.

There’s more to the story. Fifteen years later I saw Ricky again — I was on vacation in the town where he lived. He was married by now. I was not. And my bad….. I had a drink with him outside in a public place — old friends.  We talked, and eventually it happened — he wanted to be with me. I told him NO.

I had waited for that moment. I wanted to see if he had learned how to keep his zipper — zipped. The answer was NO.

Beyoncé - Irreplaceable (CLICK ON LINK)

MAYBE means NO

maybe-means-no
It was love at first sight. I was attending a party at a restaurant in Boca Raton, Florida  – and while ordering a drink at the restaurant bar  – I saw Ted. He was hard to miss — he was sitting alone, right next to me.

We started talking and after a couple of minutes I thought to myself “I could look at this face for a very long time.” I can remember that moment….
Thinking Ted was alone, I invited him to sit with us (my cousins) and he said, “I don’t think my ex would like that — you see — we’re getting divorced but we came to the party together.”
I immediately said, “OH — no — I absolutely understand,” and went to the table where my cousins were sitting. They looked at me and whispered loudly, “HE’S MARRIED.”
I said, “Yeah, I know,” and noticed he was talking to one of my friends and they were both looking at me. A couple of minutes later Ted asked if the seat next to me was empty. It was — he sat next to me – we talked throughout dinner. When dinner was over he gave me his card and said, “Call me.”
I checked out his story the next day and verified he was getting divorced and also heard he might have a girlfriend. Figures… he didn’t mention that part at dinner or when he gave me his card and told me to call him.

So I called him and told him I had a nice time and that I enjoyed talking to him  – and that I heard he had a girlfriend. He said he did — that it was a ‘timing’ thing (still haven’t figured out what that meant) — but he enjoyed talking to me, too.  He said, “It’s not often I meet someone who I can talk to.”  Of course I was flattered. (my mistake).

He asked if he could call me again. We lived hours away from each other. I thought to myself….

…. couldn’t happen again — the ‘not anyone special’ scenario –so I let myself think, “If she was special — he wouldn’t be calling me.”

Long story short — I saw him a couple of times over the years — and each time I saw him — I couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend. He would say, “I don’t know what is going to happen  – it could be you.”  I heard a ‘maybe’.
I wasn’t the one. I learned a lot from talking to Ted during that time in my life. We had important conversations.

And I learned MAYBE means NO.
Jack Johnson sez:
[It seems to me that maybe,
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go.]

Nail Tales — what does ‘no one special’ mean….

nail-tales-what-does-no-one-special-mean
What is a lie?  Wikipedia (if it’s wrong — correct it) sez:
[lie (also called prevarication), is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement, especially with the intention to deceive others, often with the further intention to maintain a secret or reputation, protect someone's feelings or to avoid a punishment. To lie is to state something that one knows to be false or that one has not reasonably ascertained to be true with the intention that it be taken for the truth by oneself or someone else. A liar is a person who is lying, who has previously lied, or who tends by nature to lie repeatedly.]

Lies vary. One type of lie is ‘lying by omission’.  An example;

Sometime in my past….  I knew a man as an intermittent colleague. I knew nothing about his personal life. One day after a meeting, out of nowhere, he invited me to lunch. I accepted figuring we would continue our professional type discussion. It was a nice lunch — good conversation and he asked if he could see me again. I thought, “Why not.”  So we met again for lunch – and he expressed an interest in seeing me again socially — at which time I asked him if he was dating anyone. His response was “No one special.”

 I figured, “OK, he goes on dates — but he doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

Where is the lie? He said, “No one special” omitting the fact that he had a live-in girlfriend who at that moment in time — didn’t exist.

I eventually found out about the girlfriend, or vice versa. It wasn’t a happy time for me or the girlfriend. More on that some other time.

BTW — this man falls under the definition of liar as “one who tends by nature to lie repeatedly.” (see Wiki for types of lies and more)

Another BTW — rumor has it the man still pretends the girlfriend doesn’t exist. I don’t miss him.     

“The Truth About Men” with Jay Brigham (click on link)

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