Laidar

laidar

Jack and I would attend some of the same fundraisers and random women would come over and say hello to Jack. They didn’t know who I was — and it didn’t matter. After they would leave I would say to Jack, “Did you sleep with her? I get the feeling you did.” Of course Jack would deny it, giving me a “hon…..come on….  why do you say these things.”

OK, I figured, it must be in my head.

I’m an accountant and Jack asked me to sort through some of his papers to help him prepare his taxes. I came across a hand written list of women’s names.

The list had the names of ALL of the women who I thought (over the years) he had slept with (plus more). I said, “You’ve got to be kidding me — you made a list of the women who you slept with?”

Jack said, “No, of course not — it’s a list of women who I have a crush on.” I thought to myself, “Yeah, a list of the women who you have a crush on and slept with.”

Years went by until I saw Jack again. He was married by now. I saw him at a fundraiser talking to a woman who wasn’t his wife. I had heard Jack still had fidelity issues but didn’t give it much thought.

I said hello and asked if I was interrupting anything (like a business conversation). They both said I wasn’t so I chatted with Jack and this woman for a couple of minutes. I still had the feeling there was some connection between Jack and the woman.

Jack and I talked occasionally over the following couple of years, strictly business. I did see him recently at a social event without his wife and we got to talking about old times. I said,  “So what happened to the woman who I heard you were having an affair with? Do I know her?”

Jack said, “Sort of — s
he was the woman who I was talking to when I saw you at the fundraiser a couple of years ago.”

Oh…..

So what is Laidar? The ability to detect a lover’s past or current lover(s). Intuition.

Piece of my Heart (click on link — Mary J. Blige singing)



Voicemail

voicemail
One of my less than truthful boyfriends, Marty, went out of town for the day on business. Whereas he would normally call me on his way back and we would talk as he drove  – he didn’t. I called a couple of times and kept going into voicemail. Eventually (3 AM) I did the unthinkable. I checked the messages on MY phone that he used. Nothing illegal about checking my own voicemail.
There were some messages other than those that I left. In fact, there was a voicemail from another woman wondering where he was. She sounded worried. I still didn’t know where he was — but I ruled out who he wasn’t with. I went to sleep — not very happy.
I called Marty the next morning  – still no answer. I checked the voicemail (HIS/MY voicemail) again and surprise — there was a new message. This message was from a woman thanking him for the wonderful overnight — and telling him what a great time she had — how she told her mother all about it…… she even mentioned me by name so she knew I existed.
It was the confirmation that I needed. He was having an affair with a woman he claimed was NO ONE to him. And I realized, once again, I wasn’t the only woman he was hurting. Marty liked collecting women.

BEFORE HE CHEATS (Click on link — Carrie Underwood sings)
[That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...

Oh, you know it won't be on me!]


The Zipper

the-zipper
I was dating Ricky — who played handball at the same gym where I worked out. At some point Ben, one of Ricky’s handball buddies said to me, “Ricky is dating other women.” I didn’t believe him.
I asked Ricky — he said, “NO — Ben is jealous and wants us to break up so you’ll go out with him.”

Number ONE – Ben was married and having an affair with another woman — I certainly wasn’t planning on group sex.  And number TWO — I didn’t think he was correct — I didn’t think Ben had an interest in me. I let it go….
One of Ricky’s old girlfriends came into town — and when he said they were going to dinner I said it was OK with me. After all — she lived in another town — she’s an old friend — when I met her I didn’t feel threatened. They went to dinner and came back a couple of hours later with bags of food. They said they got to talking and didn’t eat the food and they had them wrap it to go. I didn’t give it a second thought. Big deal — take out… happens all the time.
Turns out they had sex – then brought the food back to make it look like they had been eating in a restaurant. I would have bought it if they said “Dinner was great — we cleaned our plates.” Eventually we broke up but it was Ricky’s call. I was heartbroken.

There’s more to the story. Fifteen years later I saw Ricky again — I was on vacation in the town where he lived. He was married by now. I was not. And my bad….. I had a drink with him outside in a public place — old friends.  We talked, and eventually it happened — he wanted to be with me. I told him NO.

I had waited for that moment. I wanted to see if he had learned how to keep his zipper — zipped. The answer was NO.

Beyoncé - Irreplaceable (CLICK ON LINK)


MAYBE means NO

maybe-means-no
It was love at first sight. I was attending a party at a restaurant in Boca Raton, Florida  – and while ordering a drink at the restaurant bar  – I saw Ted. He was hard to miss — he was sitting alone, right next to me.

We started talking and after a couple of minutes I thought to myself “I could look at this face for a very long time.” I can remember that moment….
Thinking Ted was alone, I invited him to sit with us (my cousins) and he said, “I don’t think my ex would like that — you see — we’re getting divorced but we came to the party together.”
I immediately said, “OH — no — I absolutely understand,” and went to the table where my cousins were sitting. They looked at me and whispered loudly, “HE’S MARRIED.”
I said, “Yeah, I know,” and noticed he was talking to one of my friends and they were both looking at me. A couple of minutes later Ted asked if the seat next to me was empty. It was — he sat next to me – we talked throughout dinner. When dinner was over he gave me his card and said, “Call me.”
I checked out his story the next day and verified he was getting divorced and also heard he might have a girlfriend. Figures… he didn’t mention that part at dinner or when he gave me his card and told me to call him.

So I called him and told him I had a nice time and that I enjoyed talking to him  – and that I heard he had a girlfriend. He said he did — that it was a ‘timing’ thing (still haven’t figured out what that meant) — but he enjoyed talking to me, too.  He said, “It’s not often I meet someone who I can talk to.”  Of course I was flattered. (my mistake).

He asked if he could call me again. We lived hours away from each other. I thought to myself….

…. couldn’t happen again — the ‘not anyone special’ scenario –so I let myself think, “If she was special — he wouldn’t be calling me.”

Long story short — I saw him a couple of times over the years — and each time I saw him — I couldn’t believe he had a girlfriend. He would say, “I don’t know what is going to happen  – it could be you.”  I heard a ‘maybe’.
I wasn’t the one. I learned a lot from talking to Ted during that time in my life. We had important conversations.

And I learned MAYBE means NO.
Jack Johnson sez:
[It seems to me that maybe,
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go.]

Nail Tales — what does ‘no one special’ mean….

nail-tales-what-does-no-one-special-mean
What is a lie?  Wikipedia (if it’s wrong — correct it) sez:
[lie (also called prevarication), is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement, especially with the intention to deceive others, often with the further intention to maintain a secret or reputation, protect someone's feelings or to avoid a punishment. To lie is to state something that one knows to be false or that one has not reasonably ascertained to be true with the intention that it be taken for the truth by oneself or someone else. A liar is a person who is lying, who has previously lied, or who tends by nature to lie repeatedly.]

Lies vary. One type of lie is ‘lying by omission’.  An example;

Sometime in my past….  I knew a man as an intermittent colleague. I knew nothing about his personal life. One day after a meeting, out of nowhere, he invited me to lunch. I accepted figuring we would continue our professional type discussion. It was a nice lunch — good conversation and he asked if he could see me again. I thought, “Why not.”  So we met again for lunch – and he expressed an interest in seeing me again socially — at which time I asked him if he was dating anyone. His response was “No one special.”

I figured, “OK, he goes on dates — but he doesn’t have a girlfriend.”

Where is the lie? He said, “No one special” omitting the fact that he had a live-in girlfriend who at that moment in time — didn’t exist.

I eventually found out about the girlfriend, or vice versa. It wasn’t a happy time for me or the girlfriend. More on that some other time.

Rumor has it the man still pretends the girlfriend doesn’t exist. I don’t miss him.


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