I Met a New Man, Too.
Kind of bizarre situation…. more later. Not surprised about it being bizarre? Me neither… that’s what concerns me.
New Man
I have been seeing a man (passing on the streets) in my neighborhood for the past year — probably more. He’s always walking… alone. So am I.
We finally talked.
Lost — Best BUDDY
No need to go into the details — but my first and best online buddy is out of my life after years of being there as much as he was capable of ‘being there.’
I will miss him but need to remind myself that our relationship was based in cyberspace — not real time.
WHO HANDLES BREAKUPS BETTER?
Men’s Health Dave Zinczenko writes [One of the reasons why women can get over sour relationships faster than the guys they break up with is that women have an amazing network of people to latch on to. Research indicates that men depend on romantic relationships for emotional intimacy and social support, whereas women are more likely to turn to family and female friends to satisfy those needs. Mothers, sisters, friends, hairdressers, cabbies, whoever — the more times she tells the story about what a jerk he was, the better she's going to feel.]
This Never SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED
Not that I’m trying to one-up you, Vanessa — but I recently went on a date that never SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED. I’ll fill you in later…. what is interesting, Vanessa, is that this guy also thought he was well endowed. I wouldn’t have cared if Mr. Short Stick was Mr. Baseball Bat — it never should have happened.
This Never Happened
I’ll tell you the ending now.
HE: As far as I’m concerned this never happened.
I certainly wasn’t going to advertise it.
It was a pretty good date gone wrong.
Is it LOVE or ABUSE?
HOW TO AVOID DATING AN ABUSIVE CREEP
CNN (The Frisky) Judy McGuire sez
[ Here are some behaviors to watch out for:
Too close, too fast: After years of dating ambivalent men, it can be refreshing when a guy comes on strong. But if he's declaring his undying love on your second date, you could be looking at trouble.]
March 8, 2009 — Happy Women’s Day
At Least 5 Red Flags (probably more)
I was walking on the beach at the end of a typical day. I love the beach, seashells and sunsets.
I certainly don’t like what the beach does to my hair — enter the perks of the job. Good blows on any given day/ 7 days a week.
I started talking to a man walking on the beach – he was in South Beach visiting a friend who is a dermatologist. I asked him what kind of work he does. He told me and I asked him if he knew a friend of mine who is one of the top 3 in the US in this field. He said he never heard of him. That was Red Flag #1.
He asked if we could meet for drinks after I finished work Tuesday night. He was a nice looking professional, why not. He asked for my cell number then he called my phone while we were still having a face to face conversation and said, ‘Now you’ll have that number forever.” I thought and said, “Until it’s no longer a recent call.” I realized afterwards I was wrong. I said to him, “Did you call my phone because you thought I gave you the wrong number?” He said NO — but I don’t remember what else he said. (This should have been Red Flag #2) but I let it slide.
So we made plans for Tuesday night at 8 PM at the salon. I thought he would arrive, I’d turn on the alarm, lock up and out the door.
I said to him, “I’m going to google you.”
He shrugged. We said goodbye.
The first thing I did was call my father to tell him I met an interesting man on the beach.
DAD: You better make sure you google him
That was on my list of things to do but the fact that my father told me to google him? (Red Flag #2)
I came up with two men with the same first and last name and I wasn’t sure which of the two hits with his name and area of expertise was him. I liked the resume of the man who didn’t look like him – but I met him with his sunglasses on the beach and hoped it was him and just a bad picture. I didn’t like what I read about the other person with the same name. I figured I would ask him when he called to confirm Tuesday night and if he was ‘bachelor number two’ I wouldn’t keep the date.
He did call the next night — and I said, “So are you ‘bachelor number one’ or ‘bachelor number two’ hoping he said, “I’m number one.”
He said let’s wait and talk about it. (Red Flag #3)
He called Tuesday night @ 7:55 PM and said he was running late. I was annoyed but went online and read the NY Daily News political blog, The Daily Politics. I’m from the Bronx, a political junkie, and the people on this blog are very smart and not getting paid to think. I like that.
At 8:20 PM I heard a noise in the back of the salon and couldn’t imagine what it was — so I looked. It was the man from the beach in the salon and he had not come through the front door and there is security outside the backdoor. I said, “How did you get in here? How did you get past security.”
HE: I walked past them
This didn’t make sense that he got past two security guards. (HUGE RED FLAG #4)
I turned on the alarm, locked the door, and as we were walking to the restaurant …
ME: Are you ‘bachelor number two’? The man with the shady past?
HE: Let’s sit down at a table and talk
Red Flag #5 — (notably smaller than HUGE RED FLAG #4.)
We started talking and he fessed up to being ‘bachelor number two’ with explanations that I wasn’t buying. You don’t end up being ‘bachelor number two’ for being a good guy.
I said good-bye after the drink (he gave me his business card) — I went home — to my computer — and now that I knew he was ‘bachelor number two’ I googled him some more and found out he was worse that just ‘bachelor number two’ on my first search. Turns out he was involved with a very public violent crime story. Then I found out he didn’t live in LA as he said — he didn’t even live in the US.
I said to Sarah the next day:
Sexual Timing
December 1, 2008 Glamour Magazine:
Author Penny Wrenn sez:
[ 'When Should You Sleep With Him?'
Not long ago, hoping to silence my moaning about a particularly rough dating drought, a girlfriend volunteered to fix me up with her old friend T. One e-mail from him and I was smitten. After a day of message volleying, we agreed to talk on the phone that night.
T. sounded as charming as he was online. I wanted to speed things along—finally I’d found someone worthy of my attention—and I suggested we meet right that minute. He agreed and rushed over to my apartment. From then on we were coupled up, quite literally, since we spent most of our time horizontal in his place or mine.
Soon enough, though, the mornings after brought a sinking “this isn’t going to work” feeling. Charmingly boyish now seemed plain immature, and enthusiastic was more like hyper. The more time we spent vertical, actually talking, the less I liked him.]