I Should Have Listened to Milicia :(


Milicia warned me about sexting. I should have listened. A ‘pretend’ family friend (someone who had hurt me many times in the past) experienced a tragic death of a family member. He turned to drugs and alcohol and would call me in the middle of night, telling me how much he wanted to be with me. One time he drove more than 60 miles to my house in the middle of the night, drunk. I wasn’t going to let that happen again.

A. I didn’t want to be sexual with him because I knew he lied about and to women.

B. With the quantity of substances in his system he wasn’t capable of sexual follow-thru so he was of little use to me.

C. I didn’t want his germs.

So I did the easiest and safest thing during one of my middle of the night babysitting sessions - I sent him an intimate picture of myself with his promise he would delete the picture.

The middle of the night phone calls continued for years and he continued to talk about the picture he had promised and obviously not deleted. But I kept my distance because the guy became even more involved w drugs, using every excuse in the book why he needed drugs - bad back, sinus infection blah blah blah.

This continued for years & eventually we had zero contact. Thank goodness that was over.

I was in Florida Cinco de Mayo, 2013. I hadn’t seen the drug addicted liar for years and when I went to swim my laps — suddenly he was in my fathers driveway on a bicycle!

I said hello and went to the pool to swim. As I was leaving the pool & getting into my father’s car he came up behind me again on his bicycle and said, “VANESSA,” startling me. He got into the passenger side of the car and told me how much he wanted to be with me. Of course I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He said he didn’t. I knew he was probably lying and told him I needed to be at an appointment.

He continued to call and text me thru out the day and eventually I saw him. He RODE his bike to my father’s house, went over to the liquor cabinet, and loaded up on my father’s booze. He was so high he couldn’t perform — but he kept trying.

The next weekend my friend told me she saw on Face Book that he had sent someone who calls him ‘baby’ flowers for Mother’s Day. “Thank you Baby.”

I confronted him. I said, “So you do have a girlfriend.” He said my thinking he had a girlfriend based on flowers was ridiculous.

I had done a little bit of homework before confronting him and it became crystal clear he had once again lied about having a girlfriend.

I said, “What would your girlfriend think if I told her you had sex with me and then went home and had sex with her (or vice versa), how would she feel?

His response? Not hard to guess. He said “If you tell her I will post the picture you sent me online.”

I told him I had been waiting for years for him to threaten me with that. Of course that was a risk I wasn’t going to take. I had already heard he shared my picture with willing creeps.

He’s at the top of the bad guy list.┬áThank goodness states are beginning to criminalize Revenge Porn.

Cell Block Tango